I may flip round, head again into that ugly bar, and settle for his provide. I may let him handle me.

However what would that imply for the remainder of my life? I don’t know Saul. Letting him into my life might be like willingly tying a rabid animal to my leg. And it’s not even simply me I’ve to fret about. There’s additionally Jason and Nana. May I actually justify letting a complete stranger like Saul into their lives?

No, I did what I needed to do. I advised him, and possibly he dangled an entire mountain of shiny gold watches in my face, however the value was too excessive. I made a mistake with him as soon as—I can’t do it once more.

That is my child and it’s my downside, and I received’t let Saul make it even worse.

Chapter 7

Saul

Molly will get out of a cab in deep South Philly proper on the sting of Irish territory. She speeds up the sidewalk, one hand on her stomach. Occupied with the child? She pauses on the door to an outdated brick condo constructing—ratty, rundown, with iron bars on the home windows—earlier than punching in a code and disappearing inside.

I watch the constructing for some time, slumped down behind the wheel of my Lexus.

She’s pregnant. The thought retains operating by means of my head. She’s pregnant. Molly is pregnant and the child is mine. However I noticed the look on her face once I supplied her my assist. She appeared again at me like I used to be a snake about to sink my venom-drenched fangs into her uncovered throat.

It’s not even that I can blame her for being afraid. She’s clearly battling some stuff and I’m not essentially the most healthful man. However fucking hell, I didn’t like the fear in her eyes once I tried to make her perceive.

Molly is mine now.

She’s my downside, whether or not she needs to be or not.

Or possibly downside isn’t the suitable phrase. She might be a chance. She might be my future.

I don’t know anymore. I sigh and lean my head again. The radio performs all of the worst music. Prime 40 trash. I like a few of that Taylor Swift stuff, however principally I keep on with nation. I get a kick out of fellows singing about their beer and their canines. Nevertheless it’s the heartache that basically will get me. I feel as a result of I can’t relate.

I’ve by no means been in love earlier than. I’ve by no means felt the head-over-heels fall, the tumble, the drop. That’s how everybody describes it. A sudden lurch, and the world is totally different.

I would’ve skilled one thing like that when Molly mentioned she was pregnant.

Not love, however a shift. Earlier than she mentioned it, I used to be simply Saul. Now I’m a father to an unborn child. My axis tilted. I’m floating round a brand new solar.

After an hour, I put the automobile in gear. She’s not popping out and that’s high-quality. At the least I do know the place she lives. I’m undecided what I’ll do with this info, however I’m positive I can’t depart issues as they’re proper now. I simply have to determine what I can do.

* * *

The subsequent morning, Renzo’s behind his desk. He provides me some espresso once I sit down throughout from him. I settle for it, take a sip, and take a look at to not present how dangerous the stuff is. He acquired a flowery espresso maker for his birthday and ever since then he’s been attempting out new blends. And actually, the man’s terrible. In some way, he ruins each cup he makes, however he doesn’t even discover. It’s spectacular, really.

“Dante advised me you went to that bar once more.”

Ah, fuck. Goddamn Dante. I think about mendacity, however there’s no level. “I prefer it there.”

“Saul.”

“Dante must get a life. What’s he doing, following me round?”

“He drove by means of the neighborhood on patrol and noticed your fucking automobile parked on that block. Didn’t take a genius to determine it out.”

I grunt and tilt my head aspect to aspect. “Yeah, okay, that’s my dangerous then.”

“I advised you?—”

“No, Dante advised me, and I’m completed with the Duck, okay? I don’t want you to reprimand me for going to a fucking bar.”

He grimaces and appears away. My brother’s a superb Don. He cares about his household and can do something for them. However typically, he will get somewhat too concerned in shit that doesn’t matter.

“I’m simply fearful, that’s all. Each time you go there with out backup, you’re uncovered.”

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