I used to be at a crossroads, torn between self-preservation and shedding myself utterly.
CHAPTER 31
Dawson
The primary day on the job on the firehouse, I used to be terrified. The coaching I’d endured, all of the tales I’d been instructed, none of it will maintain a candle to the primary time I’d run right into a burning constructing, nothing may actually put together me. It was a baptism in fireplace, so to talk.
Nevertheless, like most of these large moments in my life, I confronted the hearth with braveness, and I refused to let my concern management me. I wanted to discover ways to use it to my benefit, and I had.
However that was nothing in comparison with the ledge I discovered myself on, tethered to Nolan’s hand like he was a life raft, and I used to be in water over my head.
“Please, don’t go. I… I would like you.” I mentioned the phrases slowly, tasting them on my tongue for the primary time.
I hated that I sounded so fucking determined.
So weak.
Nevertheless it was the goddamn fact, and the levity of that fact hit me like a ton of bricks as I grasped Nolan’s hand. He turned to face me, and I anticipated to see pity, or judgment even. However that wasn’t what I noticed in any respect.
In truth, the glaze in Nolan’s eyes appeared as pained as I felt, and as if he was going to cry.
Please don’t cry, champ.
“I don’t wish to depart, I…” His voice shook, however he took a step nearer. “Why is that this so fucking sophisticated?” he mentioned, his voice cracking like the perimeters of my coronary heart.
I took a step nearer to him, feeling as if the earth beneath me was transferring, shifting us towards each other like tectonic plates.
“Issues don’t need to be sophisticated, you understand,” I mentioned, rubbing my thumb over the sting of his knuckles.
Nolan let loose a sigh.
“They only need to be sincere.”
Nolan squeezed my hand tightly. The silence between us felt like an eternity till he’d spoken.
“In all honesty… I feel I’m falling in love with you,” he mentioned softly, his voice barely a whisper.
My total physique softened at his phrases, a wierd sense of aid flooding me.
I moved nearer, catching his gaze. He appeared as terrified as I felt, and one thing about that made me really feel emboldened, able to tackle a brand new type of fireplace.
The one which was spreading between us.
And I didn’t wish to put it out. I needed it to eat me, eat us.
“In all honesty, Nolan… I feel I fell in love with you if you beat me at that fucking race,” I mentioned as he closed the house between us.
I reached out to push his hair behind his ear, a movement that made his frames a bit crooked, however I couldn’t deny it wasn’t horny.
Nolan stared up at me with glassy eyes, pouty lips, and love.
And that was all I wanted.
I leaned in and kissed him, letting the hearth inside my blood unfold. Nolan’s arms slid over my hips as his fingers dug into my sides, his lips transferring slowly in opposition to mine in a torturous style that solely made me need extra.
I needed all of Nolan fucking Harding, and I didn’t care how sophisticated issues have been, or that we labored collectively, or that he knew how you can get below my pores and skin.
I solely cared about the truth that the considered not having him made me really feel like I had the day I confronted my first fireplace.
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